Ever felt like you were teetering on the very precipice of something amazing and great with your business but you just couldn’t get over that “something” in order to make it happen.
Keep seeing things about mindset, mind over matter, positive thinking and “feel the fear and do it anyway”? You may even had read that book once upon a time. Did it help? Has it allowed you to move on and build that brilliant business you desire?
You may be totally fearless in business – you might be a kick ass chick who doesn’t care what people think and makes decisions at the click of her fingers
You may be more like the majority of women in business who are scared of laying their business hope and dreams bare for all to see, regularly beating ourselves up for just not “getting on with it“, and a little unsure about what it is we should “just be getting on with” in the first place!
The “Accountability Day” I ran recently was for women in business who were absolutely ready to put their hands up and make a difference to their business by stating their intentions about what they desired to achieve & committing to making it happen. It was a really powerful day of stating goals, committing to taking action, and having someone holding them to it!
And one of the really interesting things to come out of that day was when a lovely lady posted something in our private Facebook Group. After achieving so much and reflecting about how she felt…
“I know I’m feeling a bit vulnerable that I am about to really put myself ‘ out there’ in a different way. So, I am sitting with a bit of squirminess I think”
Does that ring true for you at all?
It really did for me because I’ve felt like that many many times before and I truly believe that when we notice the feeling around vulnerability and fear and we dig a little deeper into the reasons behind it we can start to make a difference. It’s very often before that “next big thing” that we have those feelings.
We sometimes can feel scared or vulnerable when starting a new job. Being a newbie. But, for those of you who’ve worked in other businesses before your own, you know, the standard offices and shops, organised and owned by others then there’s a nice comfort blanket isn’t there? We are “doing what we’re told” or “following a job description”. There’s not much that can go hideously wrong if we stick to the corporate rules (although that’s probably another blog……)
But when it’s your business, well that’s another matter all together. This is your baby. It’s your dream and vision and it’s part of you.
No matter how many times you tell yourself –
“it’s just business, it’s not personal”,
there will be at least a dozen more times you tell yourself
“they don’t like me”,
“what if I make a fool of myself”,
“I can’t possibly do that”,
“what if it goes wrong”
When you’re about to turn a corner in business and do some big stuff – reality check here – that’s big stuff for you, in your business, right now. Whatever that might look or feel like (we are not comparing ourselves with the big cheeses we see on tv or in the media here) then it’s a natural human emotional to want to protect us from the unknown.
Here’s one of my many examples…..
I was terrified of Facebook lives since they appeared. Business women all over seemed to be doing them. Glossy hair, nice make up, lovely clothes. I wasn’t even sure what they were saying I was concentrating so much on how good they looked. There was NO WAY in this world that I was ever going to do that – no matter how much I knew it would be good for people to see and hear me, good for the Facebook algorithms on my business page, great for engagement, increase my business visibility etc etc.
Although funnily enough I did not have the same phobia about my personal page, when I’d run 3 miles and was bright red and sweating like a wee piggy. I could do them then. I could pick the phone up and go live and tell people how I was doing and how amazing it was that they’d sponsored me.
But…try as I might I couldn’t get on that same phone and go live on my Business Facebook page. I couldn’t even think about doing a video and then posting it up there. WHY?
Because that would have totally exposed me and my business. The one that I held close to my heart and wanted to succeed so badly.
It’s like that dream when you’re in a boardroom or business meeting and you look down and you’re naked…we’ve all had it. Haven’t we? Or is that just me!!
It’s that inherent human fear of laying yourself bare. Of people seeing your soul, your dreams and hopes and desires and them choosing not to like it. Not to engage. To comment negatively or, even worse, not to comment at all. Not to buy from you …..
So, how do we get around that and leave the fear behind to build a brilliant business?
We’ll always be human so when it comes to the things that matter so deeply to us, then we are always prone to vulnerability.
The good news is that you can learn to control some of this, accept it and choose to move through it.
Move through it to the other side. Move through it to a brilliant business where it’s not quite so scary after all.
Some of you may be familiar with NLP. Other not so.
I’m wondering if you’ve heard of “act as if”.
“Acting as if” is a fabulous way of moving forward and shifting any beliefs that may be holding you back. So you get to choose whether you’d like to time switch or person switch and by doing either of these processes it can help you overcome the fear and crack on with building your brilliant business. You can learn more about the “act as if” process here.
I think I’ve pretty much been using this strategy the whole of my life.
Another way is to get accountability. Working with someone and talking about your business vision and dreams moves them from your head or journal/planner and out into the world. Once these are spoken and shared then they are even more possible than they were before. You’ve shared them.
And if that person holds you accountable for making it happen then you are absolutely more likely to achieve them than not. After all, it’s easy to let ourselves down but not so much others. Which takes me back to the Facebook lives.
I know now that the reason I could do the sweaty, red faced running lives was because I felt accountable. I felt responsible for keeping those people who had generously donated to my charity of choice on track with how I was doing – regardless of what I looked like.
And how did I break through the business lives…. I became accountable. As part of my coaching group I committed to running a programme which necessitated going live into the Facebook Group every day for 5 days. On Day 1 it took me half an hour to press the button and I was done in 6 minutes. And….I didn’t die!
By Day 5 I just pushed the button and 25 minutes later I was still talking, and engaging and enjoying!
My philosophy these days…
- If no one will die then there’s nothing to stop me
- If I’m not hurting anyone physically, mentally or emotionally then there’s nothing to stop me
- If the worst that can happen is I look a little silly then that’s okay, there’s nothing to stop me
- I can learn from that and be better next time
- I will surround myself with people who have an objective set of eyes, an open set of ears and sound business mouths so that there’s nothing to stop me
- I decided that this is not my family or friends because that’s too close
You are amazing.
You run your business.
There is no need to be scared!
Join our friendly, supportive and private Facebook group today so that you can start building your brilliant business and move forward to your dreams
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